Back in the Saddle: How to Start Dating Again After a Relationship Breakdown

Monday, January 30, 2017


Dating can be difficult even at the best of times, but coming off the back of a long-term relationship, it can seem particularly daunting. The first hurdle that needs to be overcome is simply making the decision to date again. Then, there are likely to be a whole host of other worries that begin creeping into your mind.

Whether you’re concerned about the venue, your image or topics of conversation, it’s understandable if your first meet-up back on the dating scene fills you with dread. However, there is love after love, and these tips will help you to move on and start dating again after a relationship breakdown.

Take your time, but don’t wallow

The most important factor in returning to the dating scene is time. It’s completely understandable that a long-term relationship will take time to get over, so don’t rush things. The last thing you need is to be thinking about your ex while on a date with someone new.

On the other hand, there comes a time when you simply have to move on, no matter how difficult it may seem at first. Take as much time as you need to get over your past relationship, but don’t let it get in the way of living your life.

Confidence

If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it can be difficult to remember exactly how to get a girlfriend. After all, you’re likely out of practise when it comes to meeting new people on a romantic level.

If this is the case, then the key component for a successful return to dating is confidence. Different approaches work well for different people, but some common methods include having a drink beforehand (although not too many), listening to some music, and focusing on your strengths, rather than your weaknesses. Also, remember to greet your date warmly, look them in the eye when you arrive, and smile.

Don’t shy away from your past, but don’t dwell on it either

If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, it makes sense that a lot of the things you bring up in conversation might concern your ex. While you shouldn’t try to pretend as if that period of your life never happened, you shouldn’t spend all your time on dates talking about your previous partner either.

Get online

Meeting new people can be difficult, particularly as you get older, which is why websites and mobile apps can be a great way of getting back into dating. Why not sign up to a few different services to see which one works best for you?

Put yourself out there

The best way of returning to the dating scene, but perhaps the most mentally challenging, is simply putting yourself out there. Go on a night out when asked, rather than sitting in front of the TV, and ask friends if they know anyone that they could set you up with. If you be yourself, relax and are open with new people, then you’ll have your love life back on track in no time.

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